Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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