Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
