6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
