I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My vagina is officially offended.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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