did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
