Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
