I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
