Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
