fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
