i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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