Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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