Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
