Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
