At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize