Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize