Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
