Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
