god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
