Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just blew my weed a kiss
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
