I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
