I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
