I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
