i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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