my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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