whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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