I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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