if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
