at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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