so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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