Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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