i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
