I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
