she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You're like the curious george of whores
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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