i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
