haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
