Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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