My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
