so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
