Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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