Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
