Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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