My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
