I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
