Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
