hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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