mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
