haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize