We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
