so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
