You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
