Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
