You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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