based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
