She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
