I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize