You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
