The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
