I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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