The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize