Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize