Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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