Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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