...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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