wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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