do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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