After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
