Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize