those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
