if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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