i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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