At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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