I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
