Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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