do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
