yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All the doctor said was why
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize