If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
